Love Me Once and It Will Be Enough
by Athena mou
Summary: Set in 1911, this story explores what could have been the life of Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes had they explored their feelings for each other. On Elsie's 44th birthday, Mr. Carson takes her to Ripon to celebrate. Little did they know that this day would forever change their lives at Downton.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note on Elsie Hughes:**

When considering this story I thought about who Elsie Hughes really was, where she came from and the time period she lived in. She was born in the Scottish highlands sometime in the 1850s. As a Victorian woman from a rural area, she must have been exposed only to the people and lifestyles around her.

Many of the churches in Scotland around this time were influenced by Calvinist teachings, with a strong focus on morals and adhering to church teachings. Based on this, I find it unlikely that Elsie Hughes would have taken a lover, something which surely would have made her the scandalous talk of the town, should anyone learn about it.

Once leaving her home and starting her life in service, Elsie might have been more prone to giving in to temptation, but at this point the stern teachings of the northern churches must have already influenced her enough to consider the implications, should she go down that road. Perhaps she was witness, early on in her career, to some unfortunate girl who had to leave because she was pregnant, or had been caught with man.

Elsie Hughes is a highly intelligent and driven woman. I believe that she would have sacrificed her personal life entirely once she committed to her career in service. Yet there might come a point in her life when she feels that she has nothing to lose, and that she has sacrificed enough.

I wanted to share these thoughts with you, to make you understand my reasoning for writing Elsie the way I have. Today it would seem very unlikely that a woman at her age would never have had sex, not to mention knowing little to nothing about what is involved. Once considering the facts that books that spoke explicitly about sex were not that common back then. There was no TV or internet, and women simply did not speak about such things. Men did, but women did not. I have done some research about this, and everything points to that most women were pretty much clueless about what was involved, prior to their wedding night (or whenever they had sex for the first time.)

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**BETA – BETA – BETA – BETA – BETA**

_This story is practically un-betaed. I have tried my best to catch spelling and grammar errors, but as a non-native English speaker who also happens to be slightly dyslexic… well, don't be to harsh LOL_

_That said, __**I would love to work with a beta**__ for this and any new stories I might write. My current Downton beta's RL has suddenly become very busy (the reasons why are lovely, so I am very happy for her) and has regrettably declined to beta any new stories for me, only because she doesn't know if she can do so in a timely fashion. She is terrific, so I'm glas that she will continue to beta my Mary/Matthew stories: Last Year of Innosence and The Rightful Heir._

_**Anyone who would be interested in beta-ing this story or any of my other stories, please send me a PM.**__ The story is currently rated T, but it will go up to M now and then later on._

Beta II comment:

**Frogedog**, if you happen to read this, please send me a PM if you're still interested in beta-ing my Mr. Selfridge story. Your account settings prevents me from contacting you via PM. Thanks! :)

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**Love Me Once and It Will Be Enough**

**Chapter 1 **(word count: 4,100)

Elsie Hughes stood in front of the mirror, scrutinizing her body. She was not usually a vain woman, but on this day she studied herself closely with a furrowed brow. Gently touching her breasts, she thought them slightly heavier than before. The dark patch covering her most intimate of places thankfully looked the same.

"You're getting old," she muttered to her reflection.

No answer came, of course, only a slight bounce of her breasts as she let go of them.

"Everything eventually goes south."

Turning away from the mirror, she started to dress; moves practiced so many times she did not even think to do them. Finally turning back to the mirror, Elsie was almost surprised at seeing herself covered.

"Forty four years old." She sighed and her shoulders drooped a little. She was two days away from her birthday, and only a few short years shy of a major milestone, one that felt just as heavy on her shoulders today, as it probably would then. "A spinster," she spat to her reflection. "Old. Undesirable."

Before she could wallow too long in her self-pity, she left the sanctuary of her room. The house was waking up, and the Crawleys and everyone else in this grand mansion had little use for Elsie, the woman. As she straightened up and fiddled with her keys that hung at her waist, _Elsie_ was pushed back deep inside, allowing Mrs. Hughes, housekeeper at Downton, to emerge. The transition was smooth, and not really noticeable to anyone but her.

~ O ~

Sitting sipping her tea in her parlor Elsie thought of maids that had come and gone in this grand house. Young women who had given in to temptation, always to be discovered, and later dismissed in disgrace. It could have been her. Temptation had been there. But every time she had almost given in, her father's harsh words rang in her head – _If ye get in the family way, lass, don't bother to come 'ome! _Perhaps her father's hateful words had not scared her, especially not when she grew older and understood what a miserable excuse for a man he really was, but the words booming over a cowering congregation on Sunday mornings did. Having grown up with the stern teachings of the Calvin influenced churches of the misty highlands, Elsie had learned at a very early age about sin and that only a few were destined to reach heaven. Feeling as if the words were directed only at her, young Elsie would sit ramrod in the pew each Sunday, praying that she would not commit sin.

She sighed and leaned back in her chair, putting her feet up on the small footstool. _He_ had given it to her. When, she could not quite remember, only that she had cherished it every day since. If she stopped and thought about it, she would realize that _he_ did an awful lot to make her comfortable and feel cared for. Those were dangerous thoughts, so she always pushed them away when they tried to seep through the cracks in the thick walls around her heart.

Elsie closed her eyes and yet again allowed her thoughts to wander. There had been someone, for a fleeting moment in time. A farmer. Her Joe. They had been sweethearts for a while, but once faced with the prospect of a life as a farmer's wife, she had recoiled. Envisioning herself as a farmer's wife immediately brought forth an image of her mother, someone who Elsie only ever remembered looking tired, with dead eyes, hope lost long ago with the young woman she had once been, before marrying Elsie's father. The following week, Elsie had accepted a position miles away. She had hurt Joe, she knew that, but she could not face a life like her mother's.

"Mrs. Hughes?"

"Come in Mr. Carson." She smiled and gestured for him to take a seat. "I just made some tea."

He nodded and sank down in the offered chair, watching her prepare his tea the way he liked it. She had done it every day for years now.

"I was thinking… thank you." He took the cup from her.

"Yes?"

"If it's not too presumptuous of me to ask…" She frowned when his face seemed to color slightly. His warm eyes met hers. "On Thursday… perhaps you would consider having luncheon in Ripon with me?"

"Luncheon in Ripon?" she echoed with an amused chuckle. "Why on earth for? And even so, how could we possibly carry that off? Both of us gone at the same time."

"I suppose they would just have to manage without us."

She rolled her eyes at him. "As if his lordship, or your precious Lady Mary could."

"It was actually Lady Mary's idea, so perhaps you should choose your words a bit more kindly."

That took her by surprise. Lady Mary Crawley was not the warmest of people, as far as Elsie was concerned. The Earl of Grantham's nineteen year old daughter seemed much too self-centered to consider the housekeeper's comfort.

"I'm sorry."

"That's all right." He smiled at her and to her surprise placed his large warm hand over hers on the desk. "She thought that it might be nice for you."

"You told her." Elsie made a face.

"Actually she knew. Don't ask me how, but she did."

"Lady Mary Crawley knows that my birthday is this week? Well, I'll be damned." She shook her head in disbelief.

"She does, and she told me to inform you that you will have the day off."

"What? Now wait…"

"… and the following one too."

"Did she fall and hit her head?" Elsie muttered.

His fingers stroked over hers and she looked up. "His lordship agreed, and I do too. You have more than earned it, Elsie Hughes. So will you?"

She smiled then. He looked so young in that moment. Almost fearful that she would say no.

"Of course I will. It's very kind of you to ask, Mr. Carson."

"It's my absolute pleasure." He rose and her hand slipped out of his. She instantly felt cold and lonely. "Would the nine thirty train suit you?"

"Certainly. If you can be spared that early."

"I am at your disposal the entire day."

"Goodness me, Mr. Carson, carry on like that and you'll have me blush like a wee lass."

"In my eyes, Mrs. Hughes, you will always be as lovely as a blushing wee lass."

She just stared at the door, long after he had left, his words still ringing in her ears.

~ O ~

The night before her birthday, Elsie struggled to ease her mind enough for sleep to claim her. She thought about the day ahead, of the day that had gone by. Mr. Carson had been giddy around her all day. She smiled at the memory of catching him singing in his office, and doing what looked almost like a skip and dance.

She rolled over, trying to get comfortable. Ever since he had said those sweet words to her, calling her a lovely wee lass, she had wondered if she truly had missed out on something when she had never given in to temptation. The few times when he had stood a little closer than what propriety dictated, or when their legs touched under the table in the servants' hall, she had felt a flutter of something. His hands had always set off little flames on her skin whenever he touched her. Still, since she apparently was the only one affected by it, she chose to do nothing about it.

"Would you love me, given the chance?" she whispered into the darkness.

For the first time in her life, she truly wished to experience love between lovers. Had it not been for the warnings, instilled in her from a young age by stern Calvinist preaching, of the damnation caused by improper actions, her hands would have started to explore. As it was, she snatched her hand away from her stomach to return it to where it belonged, on top of the covers.

~ O ~

He had offered her his arm as they walked to the train together. He was in a cheerful mood, chatting happily about how spring was coming and pointing out birds' nests and flowers to her.

Once on the train, he had taken a seat across from her in second class. She was surprised when he had pulled her forward from the third class compartments to open a door to one of the more prestigious ones.

"Please, Mrs. Hughes, don't hold up the train now."

"But, Mr. Carson, surely we don't need to pay the extra amount for this short little trip."

"Lady Mary requested it, and his lordship insisted once he overheard her asking me."

"Lady Mary and her scheming."

Carson just chuckled as he helped her inside the train car.

~ O ~

They had wandered around town for a little while before he steered her in the direction of her favorite tavern. The day was sunny, but still a little chilly so it was a delightful relief to warm up in the cozy restaurant. He had requested a table close to the fireplace. She knew it was for her comfort and she had smiled a grateful thank you as she felt the heat from the fireplace caress her back as she sat down.

Declining the offer of quail, knowing that she was not overly fond of the little fowl, he ordered a rustic meal for the two of them. She chuckled in amusement as her fingers curled around her glass of cider.

"Mr. Carson, you know me too well."

"I believe I do. You don't particularly enjoy the frills and fancy dishes that the upstairs eat. Your taste favors more rustic meals… meat pies, or cold meats and cheese on thick slices of warm bread."

"Aye."

"Happy birthday, my dear."

She almost choked on her drink as the endearment fell from his lips.

"Where did that come from, Mr. Carson?"

"From the heart." He held her gaze for a long moment. "Don't you know how dear you are to me, Elsie?"

"I don't know." She frowned, truthfully uncertain about his feelings. "You hide your true feelings quite well, Mr. Carson."

"Then let me enlighten you." He gently grasped her hand and stroked her fingers. "There are only two women who hold the key to my heart, each for a very different reason."

"Lady Mary…"

"Yes." He nodded. "And you."

"Why?"

"Because without you, I would truly be lost."

His eyes were so serious when they met hers. "Oh, Charles, you dear, dear man."

The smile that erupted lit up his entire face and he laughed happily. Their meal arrived a moment later, but the interruption did not matter. What needed to be said, had been said.

~ O ~

A dangerous thought started to take shape as they strolled through one of the small public gardens in Ripon. She tightened her grip on his arm as she tried to push it away, cursing the devil on her shoulder, silently repeating the words of the teachings of the highlands. He looked at her with concern in his eyes, but she looked away, pretending that nothing had happened. The thought refused to go away and she let out an exasperated sigh.

"Please tell me what's wrong." His left hand patted hers where it rested on his right forearm.

"I can't." She looked away. "It's dangerous, and you don't need to know my wicked mind."

"Elsie." Her name was whispered so softly as he turned to face her directly, guiding her face up so she was forced to meet his eyes. "You can tell me anything."

She shook her head. "Not this."

"Will this ease your mind?" He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers in a soft kiss.

It had been years; decades even, since her last kiss. Not realizing how starved she had been for this kind of closeness, she clutched at his lapels, pulling him closer, craving to feel him against her. His eyes were slightly wild once they pulled apart. She looked away, ashamed of her behavior.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be daft, woman," he huffed. "No man on earth would object to such a lovely kiss."

He held her hands, waiting for her to say something. She looked down at them, noticing the difference in size.

"I've never known… I mean, I've never had a man…"

He pressed his lips against her temple, hushing her with gentle words as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I know. I know. Did I frighten you?"

"Frighten me?" she frowned at the ridiculous thought. "Certainly not."

"Then what is it? What made you tell me that?"

"I… I wish… never mind." She pulled away from him and started to walk back the same way they came.

He hurried to catch up with her, gently grasping her arm.

"Elsie, please."

She spun around and her fiery eyes met his. "I was about to ask you to become my lover, Mr. Carson. There, now you know my deepest, darkest thoughts. I'm certain I will be both damned in hell and in your heart for even thinking such things."

He gaped, shocked, for a moment. Recovering quickly he cleared his throat. "I'm flattered, but I am afraid I cannot accept the offer."

She felt tears in her eyes and pulled her arm away from him. "I know that."

"No, Elsie! Wait." He hurried after her again. "Will you please stop and listen for a moment, woman?"

He was a little out of breath as he cupped her face. She frowned at him, but remained silent. He smiled at her and kissed her, softly this time.

"The reason, my dear, stubborn lass, that I cannot accept your offer, is because I want so much more."

Her eyes widened as he struggled to get down on one knee. "Mr. Carson! You'll hurt yourself."

"Please just remain silent for a little longer." He winced as his old bones protested at how he was treating them. Looking up at her, he took her hands. "Elsie Hughes, will you marry me?"

"What?" She just stared at him, her head spinning. "But what about Downton?"

"Downton will lose its most valuable housekeeper, our Mrs. Hughes."

"I know that." Her frown deepened as she wondered how he could treat her job so insignificantly.

"But the one who will take her place is even lovelier and…"

"You've hired my replacement already?" She almost shouted at him. "Of all the…"

"Elsie Hughes, I did not realize that you were this daft."

She huffed and tried to pull her hands free. "Calling the woman you just asked to marry you, daft, is not the wisest, Mr. Carson; at least not if you hope for her to accept you."

He struggled to get up, still holding her hands in a tight grip. "Beautiful, stubborn Elsie," he said softly, smiling at her. "If you had waited to hear me out, you would've learned that her name is Mrs. Carson. So I ask you again, Elsie Hughes, will you marry me?"

"We would both stay?" He nodded. "But where would we live?"

He rolled his eyes at her questions. "Will you please trust me when I say that I have all of that sorted?"

"I suppose."

"Good." He made a face. "Now, while we're still young, will you please either let me down gently, or…"

"Yes." She smiled somewhat shyly at him. "Yes. Charles Carson, I'll marry you."

He gently cradled her in his arms, kissing her firmly. They laughed as they pulled apart.

~ O ~

Taking the next train back to Downton they sat close together, her hand in his. Now and then he would turn to steal a kiss, making her blush each time. It was a good thing that the train was not very crowded at this hour, or they would have embarrassed more than one person with their actions.

"This is not the way back to the house," Elsie protested when he led her down a different path.

"I know that." He smiled at her and patted her hand on his arm. "I want to show you something."

Not much later did they come upon a small cottage. He opened the gate and held it for her. She carefully stepped through, smiling as she spotted daffodils peaking up out of the ground along the fence.

"Who lives here?" she whispered to him as they approached the front door.

"Right now, no one, but very soon… you and I."

She just gaped at him and then turned to look more closely at the house. It was a darling little whitewashed building with green trim around the windows. The front door was new and the dark wood shimmered in the light from the setting sun.

"How?"

"This cottage has been on my mind for years. Once I had saved enough money, I asked his lordship if he would consider selling it to me. He eagerly agreed once I explained my plans for it, for us. I still think that he gave me a ridiculous good deal on it."

"I'm sure he did, but you've earned it."

He smiled and looked away, feeling a little bashful at the praise. "Would you like to see it?"

"Of course I would."

He unlocked the door and she stepped inside. She chuckled when she recognized a small sofa in the parlor.

"Charles, tell me you did not steal his lordship's sofa."

"Certainly not! Besides, it used to be his grandmother's and he offered it to me."

"It's been in the attic as long as I can remember. I suppose it's about time someone put it to good use."

"That's what his lordship said." Carson gestured to the rest of the furniture. "He gave me, _us_, the rest. Refused to accept any payment at all."

He led her into the kitchen next, showing her around. Finally they made it to the bedroom. She stood in the door, feeling somewhat nervous suddenly. Glancing at the large bed, she recognized the linen. She turned to face him, arms folded, looking stern.

"You lied to me, Charles."

"I did." He made a guilty face, and then threw his arms out wide. "How on earth was I going to explain what happened to the sheets and still keep this a secret?"

"It's all right." She chuckled and stroked his flustered cheek. "I forgive you." She looked around the room, taking in the neatly arranged furniture and the pretty paintings on the walls. "Anything else I should know about?"

"The remaining missing linen are in the chest over there in the corner," he confessed.

"Mr. Carson!" Hands on her hips she gave him her sternest housekeeper look. "You told me that something unspeakable had happened to them, involving his lordship's hounds."

"Yes, well.." he scrambled to defend himself, but finally resigned to only a deep sigh.

"I clearly need to keep an eye on you. You're quite a talented liar."

"I am not!" He looked so indignant she burst out laughing.

"Oh Charles."

He followed her back out into the kitchen, all the while defending himself.

"I couldn't very well tell you the truth; that Lady Grantham wanted to buy some new special sheets for the family from Selfridge's, and asked me if I wanted these before she would give them away…"

"Mr. Carson," she cut him off.

"Yes?"

"You can continue this tirade… or you could kiss me." He gaped. "What will it be?"

"Kiss," he mumbled and stepped closer.

"Wise decision."

Sinking down on one of the sturdy kitchen chairs, Carson pulled her onto his lap. He cupped her cheek as his lips sought hers. She gasped when he a moment later squeezed her hip, and stroked over her backside. When her lips parted, he gently touched his tongue to hers.

Elsie trembled; she had never felt like this before in her life. Was she sick? Perhaps she was too old for this sort of thing? She pulled back, staring at him.

"Is something wrong, my dear?"

"No. Yes. I don't know." She frowned. "I feel odd."

"Your heart flutter and your lower body is tightening, making your head feel light?" he asked, a little smile playing on his lips.

"Yes, but that's not… how did you know?"

"It's perfectly normal, my dearest one. You're getting aroused."

"I see." She knew she was blushing and turned her face away.

"Don't feel ashamed about it. I can assure you that the feeling is mutual." He chuckled amused as he shifted her on his lap. "In fact, I would consider it flattering to make you feel that way."

"You don't think that I'm too old, Charles?"

"Elsie Hughes, you stop that nonsense this very minute. You're the perfect woman for me. I don't want you any other way."

She smiled at him then, cupping his face before kissing him. "Thank you."

"When should we tell the others?"

She sat up straight. "I hadn't thought of that."

"I suppose we should set a date first."

"I don't want to wait, Charles." She looked down, slightly ashamed to admit her eagerness.

"Neither do I. How about right before Easter?"

"Aren't you going to London with the family for Easter?"

"Not this time. They will be staying at Lady Rosamund's since Grantham House is still being renovated."

"So we are to remain here?"

"We are indeed. His lordship only told me this past week."

"With them gone for over a week?"

He nodded, chuckling at the wicked smile on her face. They laughed and he pulled her down for a kiss.

"So Easter then?"

"Easter it is, my dear."

Elsie rested her head on his shoulder, for the first time in her life feeling absolutely content.

_To be Continued…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews, follows and favoriting. I truly appreciate each and every one! Since this is the first time I write for this pairing I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoy my take on these two. I hope that you will enjoy this chapter as well.**

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**Chapter 2**

The weeks had flown by, and the hustle of the Crawleys' departure for their Easter celebration in London came and went. Once the two cars sped down the driveway, headed towards Downton train station, the staff drew a sigh of relief and trickled back inside. A quiet calm settled over the house as the doors closed behind them. Elsie started to head across the grand hall towards the green door when she spotted someone on the stairs that should not be there.

"Lady Mary! Aren't you going to London today? The cars just left…"

"I am, but not until later this afternoon."

"I see."

Mary smiled as she stopped in front of the housekeeper. "Don't worry; I won't interfere with your and Carson's plans, Mrs. Hughes."

"Oh, it's not that important, my lady." Elsie frantically tried not to let any of her despair show.

"I'd say that your wedding day is quite important, Mrs. Hughes," Mary said in a low, teasing voice.

"My lady?"

"When Carson told me, I asked him if I would be allowed to attend. I hope you don't mind, Mrs. Hughes."

Elsie smiled at the girl. Lady Mary Crawley was a complicated person, with a mood that sometimes changed by the hour. Still, Mary's fondness for Carson was something that Elsie could not find any fault with.

"Of course not, my lady. We'd be honored to have you."

"I'm glad. You see, growing up, Carson was in many ways more of a father figure to me, than Lord Grantham."

Elsie nodded in understanding. She had worked in houses with young children, having the opportunity to get to know them as they grew up. Those bonds usually lasted a lifetime since the staff, unlike aristocratic parents who usually spent very little time with their own children, had an opportunity to form deep relationships with the young members of the family over the years.

"He's very fond of you too, my lady."

"So will you let me attend… as his family?"

"Most definitely."

Mary gently squeezed Elsie's arm. "Thank you, you've no idea how happy that makes me. Now, Mrs. Hughes, I want you to go upstairs to the blue room. Anna is waiting for you up there."

"Of course, but, may I ask why, my lady?"

"You need to get ready." Mary giggled at the surprised look on Elsie's face. "Besides, Carson should not see his bride until she arrives at the church."

"Goodness me, girl, you make it sound as if I was a wee lass." Elsie rolled her eyes, for a moment forgetting who she was talking to.

Mary just laughed and gently steered Elsie towards the stairs. "Hurry now, Mrs. Hughes."

~ O ~

Mary made sure that the car with Carson had left for the church before she gestured to Anna that the coast was clear. Elsie felt silly, dressed up in pale ivory with flowers in her hair. Catching both Anna and Lady Mary dabbing at their eyes as they watched her come down the stairs, she decided that perhaps it was not so bad after all.

"The motor is waiting outside. Just let us gather our things and we'll be ready."

"Certainly, my lady."

Elsie watched as Anna helped Mary with her coat. Once sure that they had everything, the three hurried out to the waiting car.

~ O ~

Elsie almost turned around and ran when she spotted the people filling the small village church. Somehow she managed to make her shaking legs carry her forward, smiling at the Crawleys and the entire Downton staff who had gathered to share this occasion with her and Charles. Finally reaching him, she took his hand.

"You look beautiful," he whispered to her.

"You lied to me – _again_," she hissed back.

Carson's shoulders shook a little in the silent chuckle her words brought on.

~ O ~

After the ceremony, Lord and Lady Grantham were the first to congratulate them, quickly assuring them both that the family was indeed leaving for London and that they were to take the remainder of the day off.

"And tomorrow too," Cora said in a hushed whisper. She leaned closer to Elsie. "Tomorrow is going to be so much fun, I assure you, Mrs. Hughes. I mean, Mrs. Carson." She giggled and fondly squeezed Elsie's hand. Elsie just stared at her and nodded, completely taken off guard by the countess' giddy behavior.

"Oh, Mama." Mary rolled her eyes at her mother. "Mrs. Carson, you have to forgive Lady Grantham. I'm afraid that her American heritage makes her terribly emotional at certain social events, weddings in particular."

Cora just laughed and tilted her head towards Elsie, making a face. "I fear that my eldest daughter, like most daughters, often disapproves of my behavior. I'm not ashamed of admitting to being touched deeply by the beauty of a wedding, especially one as anticipated as yours, Mrs. Carson."

"Thank you, your ladyship."

"Cora?"

Lord Grantham smiled at his wife and nodded to Elsie. "I can't tell you how happy I am for both you and Carson." He chuckled as she blushed at his kind words. "At the same time I am very grateful to be able to keep you both. I honestly don't know how Downton would survive, should the two of you have decided to leave together."

"Papa. We're going to miss our train."

Robert smiled at Mary and nodded. "You're right of course, my dear. Are Sybil and Edith in the motor already?"

"Of course they are." Mary's haughty voice as she turned and sauntered off towards the car made her parents chuckle.

"Such good luck, to you both." Cora squeezed Elsie's hand one last time before taking her husband's offered arm as the two hurried towards the car where their daughters were waiting for them.

~ O ~

The sound of music greeted the Carsons as they entered through the back door. Elsie frowned and looked up at Charles. He shrugged and shook his head.

"Perhaps we should investigate, Mrs. Carson?"

"Perhaps we should, Mr. Carson."

Daisy came out from the kitchen, carrying a large tray. Her eyes widened as she spotted them. Hurrying inside the servants' hall they heard her hushed voice announce their presence.

"They're 'ere!"

Chairs scraped against the floor and then suddenly the hallway was filled with people and voices, all of them cheering and offering the newlyweds their well wishes.

"What's this all about?"

"Her ladyship wanted you to have a proper wedding reception, Mrs. Carson," Mrs. Patmore said with a smug smile.

"So that's why she insisted that we come back to the house," Elsie muttered.

"Come, come." Mrs. Patmore ushered the two inside the servants' hall.

Elsie and Charles stopped and gaped at the transformation. The table was covered with pristine white tablecloths that were usually reserved for upstairs. Spring flowers filled small vases and greenery adorned the walls and windows. Carson frowned when he spotted the candleholders.

"I see someone has been in my pantry."

"Oh, hush now." Mrs. Patmore gave him a gentle shove in the back. "Take your seats so we can all get something to eat."

Charles pulled out the chair for Elsie before taking his own seat. The food smelled wonderful and he realized that he was actually starving, having been too nervous to eat much that morning. His eyes widened as William returned with a large platter with a cooked turkey.

"What in the world?"

"Her ladyship…"

Elsie held up her hand and shook her head. "Just leave it, Mr. Carson. I'm sure Mrs. Patmore would not raid the storage while the family is away." She shot Mrs. Patmore a stern look. "Though I must say I don't remember ordering a turkey."

"How would we be able to keep this a secret if you were to order the food? Her ladyship told me to use up any food that would spoil, and then asked what else you would like." Mrs. Patmore huffed and rolled her eyes. "Now eat!"

Plates were passed and filled, bottles opened and glasses filled. Laughter quickly filled the small room as the downstairs family celebrated together. Elsie smiled at Charles, taking his hand under the table. He squeezed it and returned her smile.

After clearing the table, William and Thomas pushed it to the side. Elsie frowned, but when William sat down by the piano and one of the hallboys picked up his fiddle, she understood. Music again filled the room and all eyes were on the two of them. Carson held out his hand to Elsie.

"May I have this dance, Mrs. Carson?"

"You certainly may, Mr. Carson." She smiled at him as she placed her hand in his, allowing him to pull her close as his arm curled around her waist. With a secure grip on her hand, and supporting her with a gentle touch to the small of her back, Carson swept his wife around the floor, certain that he would always remember the servants' hall in a more favorable way from now on.

~ O ~

Lynch had brought them to the cottage in one of the small buggies just as the sun set over Downton. Once they were safely by the gate, he dipped his hat and nudged the horse forward.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Carson."

"Oh, Charles."

He ushered her inside and closed the door behind them. She turned and faced him. _Her husband._

"Elsie," he spoke a little hesitantly, when noticing how serious she looked. "If you're not comfortable with… you know… we don't have to… In fact, I can sleep in the parlor."

She felt as if her heart was breaking, tears of humiliation and disappointment burning in her eyes. Did he really mean that? That he did not want her?

"Is that what you want?" She tried not to look as crestfallen as she felt.

He quickly stepped closer. "You know it's not, but I will do whatever it takes to make you happy."

"And you think telling me that you don't wish to share a bed with me will make me happy?"

"Oh."

"Yes, oh." She closed her eyes, forcing back the tears that threatened to spill. "Was this a mistake, Charles? Do you regret it already?"

"Of course not!" His voice boomed in the small room and it made her flinch. He instantly lowered his voice. "I'm sorry. In my clumsy way of not pressuring you into something you're not ready for, I fear that I hurt your feelings." He cupped her face, holding her gaze. "I desire you, Elsie Carson, more than anything in the world. I have for a very long time. It's a shame that I did not muster up the courage to ask you sooner."

"I'm sorry too, Charles. I'm afraid that I'm a little nervous about all this."

"That's understandable. We will take it slow."

"So you do want me to share your bed?"

"More than anything."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Is it too soon to go to bed?"

He burst out laughing at her cheeky comment. "Not soon enough, if you ask me."

"Let me get out of this," she whispered, gesturing to her dress and hair.

"Do you need any help?"

"I think I can manage."

"I suppose you can."

She could tell that he was a bit disappointed, but truth be told, she needed this moment to herself, to gather her thoughts and to calm down.

~ O ~

Elsie stood nervously in the middle of the room for a long moment. She was in her nightgown, her hair falling in long, dark waves over her shoulders. Charles was moving around in the other room, probably impatient to join her. She pressed her hands against her stomach, wishing that it was flatter, that her breasts were firmer. Eyes closed tightly she fought the tears that yet again threatened to spill. A gentle knock on the door made her jump.

"Elsie? Is everything all right?"

Always so considerate, she thought, detecting a tinge of concern in his voice.

"Perfectly fine. You may come in now."

The door opened and he entered. He was in his dressing gown, the striped one that he used in winter, his pale pajama-clad legs showing below. Crossing the floor to where she was standing, he stopped right in front of her, but not so close that he was crowding her.

"So beautiful." His whispered words were followed by a gentle caress to her cheek before he picked up a lock of her hair, letting it slide through his fingers.

"Oh, Charles. I'm not the young girl I once was…" She turned her face away, unable to put her shortcomings into words.

"No, you're perfect, Elsie. A woman. _My_ woman."

She chanced a glance at his face, and was relieved to see that he was smiling, his eyes soft and kind. Stepping closer, she rested her hands on his broad chest.

"Thank you."

He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. The gentle embrace calmed her and she rested her cheek against his chest, humming when he stroked her hair.

When he took her hand, leading her to the bed, she was ready. About to climb into bed, a thought occurred to her and she turned, smiling at him.

"Which side of the bed do you sleep on?"

His brows shot up and he scratched his head. "I don't actually know." He appeared to be pondering the question for a moment. "Closest to the door I suppose."

She chuckled and moved over to the far side of the bed. It was more comfortable than any bed she had ever slept in and she sighed happily. The mattress bounced a little when he joined her, filling the empty space next to her. Turning to face him, she reached out to touch him.

"This is a lovely bed, Charles."

"I could not agree more, but only because you're in it."

"You charmer." She chuckled and played with the lapel on his pajamas, only now noticing that he had removed his dressing gown.

"Though I must admit I worry about getting any sleep at all, with you next to me."

She blushed and her fingers closed a bit tighter around the fabric under her hand. He gently took her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissed each of her fingertips before placing a soft kiss to her palm.

"My lovely, beautiful Elsie."

_**To be continued…**_

…

**A/N:**_ I know! That was a bit cruel to leave it off there. The next chapter is done, just needs another read-through and some tweaking here and there. __**I will post Chapter 3 on Monday.**__ Promise!_

**A/N II:** _I'm_ _still on the lookout for a BETA for this story. Anyone who's feeling up to sprinking commas here and there in the upcoming chapters (and fixing my gramatical errors) please send me a message :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you for all your lovely reviews. I absolutely adore you for letting me know that you enjoy the story. I'm glad that my Elsie seems true to character, even though Elsie (the woman) is different from Mrs. Hughes (the housekeeper,) in this story. I think we get a glimpse of it now and then on the show, but Mrs. Hughes is such a strong and confident character, it's sometimes hard to believe that behind that facade lies a softer personality and very sensitive woman. Fellows does a good job showing this duality in his characters, some (Lady Mary, Robert, Cora and even Violet) more than others. I just love the opportunity to explore Elsie's heart and mind, which you will notice in the chapter below._

**Rating: M **for the last part of this chapter** (wedding night…)**

**A/N: **_**pretty much smut galore here. Elsie and Charles – naked – bed – wedding night… that's all we need, right? ;)**_

…

**Chapter 3**

Elsie sighed when he pulled her closer for a kiss. He felt warm and solid next to her. Charles was so much larger than her that it made her feel small, something that she was not quite used to. His hands moved over her body in long strokes, his warm palm soothing and exciting at the same time. When his hand eventually settled on her buttocks, she trembled a little.

"Is this all right?"

She could only nod. Her body was reacting the same way it had that time when they kissed in the kitchen. It was a little overwhelming and she took a deep calming breath. As her lips parted, he leaned in for a kiss, taking her breath away with its intensity. The tingling feeling increased and she felt warm and flushed. She gasped against his lips as he kept kissing her. Not realizing it, her hand had reached his head, and she was tugging at his hair, pulling him closer.

"Elsie," he murmured. "I'm not going anywhere so there's no reason to pull out the little hair I still have left."

She let out an amused chuckle and nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was hurting you."

"I know."

His brown eyes were soft as he smiled at her. She felt him move his hand over her flushed body again, only to settle on her breast. She sighed at the feeling, realizing that it actually felt very nice. Then her eyes widened in surprise at the bolt of fire that exploded through her body. He had touched her nipple, and she had no idea that it could feel like that. The few men who had touched her breasts in the past had been clumsy at best, usually squeezing her breasts much too eagerly almost to the point of painful. None of them had treated her to this gentle caress that was now slowly driving her mad.

"Oh my…"

He leaned in and kissed her, still rubbing his thumb over her nipple. She squirmed under his hand and he took the now hardened peak between his fingers, rolling, tweaking. She whimpered and clutched at his shirt.

"Let me see you, my love."

"No," she whispered.

"Please."

"What if you don't like what you see?" Her eyes were still closed tightly, afraid of looking at him.

"Elsie, please open your eyes." She cracked open one eye, peering at him. He chuckled at the sight and kissed her forehead. Relaxing a bit she opened both eyes. He nodded, pleased. "I have dreamt and fantasized about your body. I know that you're beautiful, Elsie. Please, don't think that I won't enjoy looking at you."

"You first." She blushed at the impulsive request that fell from her lips. To her surprise he shook his head.

"No, my dearest one. You will see me eventually, but I think it best that you don't. For now."

Understanding want he meant, her eyes strayed down to his midsection, for the first time noticing how the fabric was straining to hold his manhood in.

"Charles Carson," she huffed. "I'm not some frail little thing who will faint from seeing my husband without clothes. I promise that I won't run screaming."

Charles chuckled and shook his head. Pulling his shirt over his head he watched her as he tugged off his pajama bottoms tossing them on the floor. Her eyes widened at the sight of him, but otherwise she appeared calm. He tilted her face up and kissed her. A moment later she felt him tug at her nightgown and she let him. When he slipped it over her head she felt incredibly exposed. Her new French knickers did not cover much.

"Dear God!" He gasped and placed his hand on her stomach.

"I'm sorry…" She started to cover herself.

"No!" He instantly took her hand. "I was not prepared…" He cleared his throat. "… for that."

She blushed when she realized that he was talking about her silk and lace knickers.

"So you find me… pleasing?"

"More beautiful than I could ever have imagined," he revealed in a gushed whisper. He traced the lace edge of her knickers, finding the silk ribbon that held them together. "And these, my God woman…"

Elsie giggled at the look on his face and how he was struggling to express himself, clearly affected by the sight of her almost nude body. Clearly her choice of undergarments had been a good one.

"I suppose that my frivolous purchase was not in vain then. I did feel guilty at the time for buying half a dozen."

"Half… a dozen…" His eyes were wide as he stared at her. "You have more than these?"

She nodded. "Not all the same, but similar."

"Will I survive?" His muttered words set her off in a laughing fit. He grinned sheepishly at her and then burst out laughing too. Pulling her close, they laughed together.

"Charles… thank you."

"Always." He fingered her knickers again, tugging gently at the silk ribbon. "May I?"

She nodded, too nervous to say anything. His fingers shook a little as he pulled the closure open. She sighed softly when he slipped his hand inside, turning her slightly so he could cup her bottom.

"Charles," she whimpered.

"So lovely. My Elsie."

He slowly slipped the silky garment down her legs, careful not to damage the flimsy thing. Elsie kicked them off when they tangled around her foot. She peered up at him. She was still pressed against him, but she was now completely nude with her bottom exposed.

"Stunning." His hand moved up her thigh to squeeze her bottom, leaving a tingling feeling on her skin in its wake.

Elsie smiled at him, reaching up to run her fingers through the hair on his chest.

"My man."

He rolled his eyes at her cheekiness. Taking her hand, he kissed her palm, and then sucked her index finger into his mouth. She gasped at the feeling. He teasingly held the tip of her finger between his teeth before letting go.

"If you want me to stop, at any time, just tell me."

"I'm sure it will be fine," she whispered.

"I also want you to promise me to try to forget everything you've ever heard about being intimate with your husband." She frowned at that, not quite understanding. "Were you told, as a young lass, that it was not proper for a woman to enjoy being with her husband?" Now she understood. She nodded in confirmation. "Were you told that men are brutes, only caring about their own needs?" Again she nodded. "That it is uncomfortable, at best, for a woman?" Now she started to worry, but she still nodded. He cupped her cheek, stroking her lips with his thumb. "It's all lies, Elsie. All of it. If the woman doesn't enjoy the act, it's the man's fault. Never doubt that."

"All right." She was not really following him, but he seemed so serious she wanted to put him at ease.

"If I have to touch you until the sun comes up in order for you to be ready, I will. This should not be rushed, but cherished."

"Oh, Charles, my sweet, dear man."

"I'm serious, Elsie."

"So there's no pain?" she blushed at having to ask. If all the rest had been lies, perhaps that was too?

"There might be a little, right at the beginning. It should be over very quickly."

She nodded. "That doesn't sound too bad."

"I hope not." He kept stroking her cheek. "I think that it's the intimacy that is more frightening than the actual pain. You're very exposed…"

"Charles! Do you want me to be frightened?" she huffed.

"Of course not! I was just trying to explain things to you, so you know what to expect."

"_Gràdh mo chrìdh_, no matter how much you try to _explain_ _it_, I don't think I will completely understand."

He grinned at how she had slipped into her native tongue of the highlands. "What does that mean? Gra mo…"

"Oh!" She blushed in embarrassment when she realized what she had said. "It means, _love of my heart_."

"Oh, Elsie, you certainly are." He took her hands, grinning at her. "Tell me again. Teach me how to say it."

"_Gràdh mo chrìdh_," she whispered.

"Gra mo cree." He repeated the words over and over until they turned into a whispered mantra that ghosted against her lips. "Gra mo cree."

"Oh, Charles." She willed herself not to cry at hearing him call her his love.

His lips sought out hers again and they kissed almost frantically. He pulled her to him, moaning at the wonderful feel of her full breasts against his chest. Cupping one, he teased the nipple. Her sighs and gasps told him that she enjoyed the touch.

Elsie held her breath when he rolled her onto her back. This time nothing was hidden. His eyes roamed over her body and she felt utterly exposed.

"No other man has seen this beautiful body," he whispered, his hand hovering above her chest.

She let out a sigh of relief. He found her pleasing after all. Then he touched her skin, running his fingertips over her in a most delightful way, and her eyes fluttered shut. Her body felt as if it was on fire. His touch was so gentle. How could it be that it made her tremble like a tiny rabbit? A firm tug to her nipple made her whimper and she felt a flush of heat between her legs. Her eyes flew open at this discovery. Closing her legs tightly she blushed in embarrassment. Something was different down there. _Damp_. While digesting this discovery, she did not pay attention to his ministration so she yelped in surprise when his lips closed around her nipple, sucking gently. His head shot up in an instant.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No." She shook her head. "You just surprised me. It felt nice."

He chuckled and brushed his thumb over the nipple, coaxing a whimper from her.

"It tasted nice too."

"Charles!" She gaped at his cheekiness.

A rumbling laughter erupted from his chest and he shook on the bed next to her.

"Elsie, I might be hesitant to speak of private matters when we're at Downton, but here, in our bedchamber, there's no need for secrets. I will love and cherish every part of your body. I promise you that."

She blushed furiously at his words wondering just exactly what he meant by '_every part'_.

"Now, speaking of private matters," He moved his hand down until it rested lightly on her mound. "Things will change here, and they are supposed to." She eyed him carefully. "Your private place will …" Now he was the one to feel flushed, and he cleared his throat.

"Will what?"

"A woman's essence flows when she's aroused."

Her brows shot up at this new information. "I see."

His words put her at ease. The dampness between her legs was not some sort of affliction after all. She moved her legs a little and then closed them tightly again. He chuckled and she realized that he must have noticed the foreign scent too. She turned her face away, humiliated at how her body had betrayed her.

"Elsie, your scent is pleasant. I can assure you that I'm enjoying it."

She eyed him suspiciously, not entirely sure that he was telling the truth. His dark eyes seemed more intense somehow and she finally accepted that he was speaking the truth. She turned to look at him, holding his gaze as he stroked her thigh. When he tugged at her knee, she stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed, allowing him to spread her legs wider. Her musky scent filled the air and she felt his hand tremble on her thigh. A second later it was her turn to tremble as his fingertips trailed up the inside of her thigh, finally settling between her legs. Her breath hitched when he traced the outer edge of her sex, sliding through her slick essence.

Watching him move on the bed she swallowed nervously as he knelt between her feet, pushing her legs further apart. This was it. He was going to join their bodies. She started to panic. She wasn't ready. He must have noticed for he stroked her legs in long calming caresses. She sighed and relaxed again when he started to brush kisses over the top of her thighs, the inside of her knees and on her lower stomach. She could feel him parting her and she closed her eyes tightly, waiting for what he would do next. What she felt was not what she had expected at all. His slightly rough cheeks brushed against her sensitive inner thighs and then there was the incredible feeling of his… _lips… and_ _tongue! _Her head shot up at the realization of what he was doing.

"Charles! What on earth…"

He ran his tongue over her again and again, circling, flicking, touching one sensitive spot after the other. She tossed on the bed, almost lost in the sensations of his touch. Only his strong hands on her hips held her in place, preventing her from moving away, even when the touch became almost too intense. She felt something tighten inside, and the tingling intensified.

"Charles!" She tugged at his hair, fearful all of a sudden at these new feelings his touch was awakening inside her.

"It's all right. Just let it happen. I'm right here."

She whimpered and closed her eyes so tightly it almost hurt. When she felt his lips closing around a spot that was so sensitive, she cried out. It felt as if his mouth and fingers were everywhere down there. His finger stroked up and down, then further down, now rubbing gently around her entrance.

Elsie was sobbing, feeling warm and tingly and on the edge of something she could not put a name to. Then the feeling subsided, only to resurface again a moment later when his lips yet again closed around that oh so sensitive spot. When this happened for the third time she cried out in despair. She needed more; not exactly sure of what, she just knew she needed more of it. Bucking up against his mouth she pulled at his hair, trying to bring him closer, to bring on that '_more'_ she craved. She yelled his name when he brought her over, tossing, and bucking under him, all the while held safe and secure in his strong grip.

He looked up at her, noticing the smile on her lips, and the way her chest heaved as she gasped for air. Her whole body was limp and sated. She was the picture of bliss and perfection. He felt immense pride at having been able to give her this. Slowly moving to settle against her, he pushed her legs apart, rubbing the head of his member against her pleasure spot. She hummed, smiling a little. Stroking a few times over her folds to spread her essence over himself, he finally pushed inside, grabbing her hip as he entered her. She cried out and froze under him, her hands pressed firmly against his chest.

"Charles! Ouch."

Holding still he watched her blissful smile turn into one of discomfort, her brow furrowed, and her eyes closed tightly, a lone tear leaking out.

"I'm so sorry. I wish there was another way." He felt like a cad. His member twitched inside her at the incredibly feeling of being surrounded by her tight, hot center.

Her chest heaved up and down as she whimpered softly. He eased back a little so he could touch her, and rubbed over her pleasure spot with his thumb, circling, faster and faster. She sighed and relaxed almost instantly. As she did, he moved a little. He kept stroking between her legs as he slowly eased back inside and he could tell that she was starting to enjoy it.

"I like that," she whispered.

He smiled and leaned down, kissing her breasts, drawing a deep content sigh from Elsie as he flicked his tongue over her nipple. Moving a little faster he felt the tightening start. She appeared more comfortable, so he let go of her breast to be able to move better. Feeling his own release threatening to sweep him away, he changed to shorter strokes. He knew instantly when he found the right spot to bump his member against. Elsie's eyes flew open and she gasped.

"God! Charles."

"Are you all right?"

"Yes! God, yes." She grabbed his arms, needing something to hold on to. "Oh God!"

He moved faster still, pounding into her now. She tossed her head back and forth on the pillow and he gritted his teeth, trying to hold back his release. He wanted her to spend first. When she did, she clamped down so hard on him and she cried out again, and again, her nails digging into his arms, her knees pressed tightly against his sides. He kept at it, managing a few more delicious strokes before spilling his seed deep inside her. His arms shook and he gasped as he hovered above her, trying to catch his breath, yet not crush her.

Charles gently eased off her and sank down on the bed next to her with a heavy sigh. Meeting her eyes, he took her hand, stroking her fingers. Elsie winced and hissed as she closed her legs, turning to face him.

"It will get better." He knew his reassuring was probably not helping, but he had to say something.

"I know that," she whispered. Her eyes opened and she looked at him. "It really was lovely, Charles. I've never felt such a thrill in my life." She chuckled. "I'm afraid that my legs aren't used to being opened that wide."

He blushed and nodded. Placing his warm palm against her inner thigh he stroked her gently, massaging the tense muscles there.

"Perhaps I can help?"

"Well that sort of _helping_ will probably put us right back where we were," she teased.

"Would that be so bad?"

She shook her head and smiled fondly at him. "No it wouldn't. Not bad at all."

He leaned closer and kissed her. She instantly recoiled, blushing furiously. He frowned at her reaction.

"Your mouth… where it's been…"

"Ah!" He chuckled at her slight embarrassment, as he reached out to fondly stroke her cheek. "There's nothing wrong in enjoying a lover's kiss, Elsie. Some women find it arousing to taste their essence on their lover's lips."

She blushed at his frank words. "It's different."

"May I kiss you again?"

She nodded silently, and he leaned in for a kiss. This time she responded, curling her tongue around his. Elsie moaned when he touched her breast, feeling the trembling increase. She rubbed against him and he moved his hand down to touch her intimately. She mewled and pushed up as he teased her there.

"Do you want to..?" she gasped.

"I'm afraid that I can't just yet," he said, embarrassed at having to admit it. "I'm not a young man anymore. I need some time before I can have another go."

"I see." She shivered and whimpered as he kept stroking her.

"It's different for a woman," he assured her. "A woman can spend many times during the same encounter."

"Charles!" She cried out as her body curled around his hand in release. "Oh God! Mmm…"

He smiled as he watched her. She was stunning in her passion. Eventually having to remove his hand, he wiped it on the sheet before pulling her close. She nuzzled his chest, almost asleep after the exertion.

"Tomorrow you will show me how I can please _you_."

Her mumbled request sent a bolt of hot heat to his groin and he grinned. Brushing a kiss to her brow, he pulled the covers over them as they settled in together for their first night together.

_To be continued…_


	4. Chapter 4

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to my two lovely beta –** GillCrawley1921 **and** 713** who have worked hard to help me whip this chapter into shape.

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**Author's Note:**_ Picking up on the morning after the wedding, there's still a bit of smut galore in this chapter. As the countess said, "It's the most terrific fun!" And who am I to contradict the Countess of Grantham, eh? ;)_

…

..

**Love Me Once and It Will Be Enough**

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**Chapter 4**

Elsie smiled as she woke up. She was warm and in the softest bed she had ever slept in. Charles' large hand rested on her hip and he was snoring softly behind her. She slowly turned, trying not to wake him. It was, as she suspected, a fruitless endeavor.

"Good morning," he mumbled, clearing his throat.

"Good morning." Elsie smiled and stroked his cheek, brushing the hair away from his forehead.

"How do you feel this morning, Mrs. Carson?"

She chuckled and her eyes twinkled. "Lovely, truly lovely. I don't think I've ever slept as well ever before."

"I'm pleased to hear it." He grinned and tugged her closer to him.

"Charles!" She gasped his name as she felt his arousal press against her hip.

"What do you expect, woman?" He laughed softly and stroked her back down to her buttocks. "Waking up next to my warm and naked wife who is looking more alluring than should be allowed, how could any man be able to refrain from feeling the effects?"

"Alluring? My word. Honestly, Charles Carson." Elsie's cheeks flushed at his words. "No one has ever called me alluring before. Naked I can't deny, and you've kept me warm, so that's true."

"You are most _definitely_ alluring." He rolled onto his back, taking her with him. "How do you really feel this morning, Elsie?"

She shifted a little on the bed. "I'm a little sore, but not too bad."

"Perhaps we should wait then."

"I don't want to wait."

His eyes widened at her straightforward response. She laughed at the sight of him.

"Elsie?"

"Most of it was just wonderful, Charles. I tingle all over just thinking about it."

"You do, do you?" He chuckled, amused at her revelation, and his eyes playfully narrowed a little.

She nodded. "You touched me, made me feel so many things. Things I've never felt before. May I touch you?" She looked down at their still clasped hands. "I'm sorry; I don't know much about these things, Charles. I'm afraid I've never felt a need to explore any of this before. You need to tell me, and show me, Charles," she said, in an uncertain voice.

"Shhh…" He sat up and wrapped his arms around her. "It's all right. Trust me Elsie; you make me a very happy man. I will show you anything you want to know. You can ask me anything." He tilted her chin up and grinned at her. "I'm sure it will be a journey of mutual delight and discovery."

"I certainly hope so."

He eased back against the pillows again before taking her hand, placing it on his thigh.

"Please touch me." His voice sounded deeper than usual, and she smiled at him.

"How?"

"Anyway you like, my dear. I can assure you that I'll enjoy your gentle touch."

Elsie stroked his thigh, watching him intently. When he just smiled at her, she relaxed and her eyes moved to his arousal. Tracing its length with one slender digit she made him groan and his manhood twitched a little. The reaction made her giggle, and she repeated the touch a few times, delighting in his increased breathing and clear enjoyment.

"Woman, you're either going to make me spend prematurely, or you're going to slowly kill me, teasing me in such a way."

"Oh hush, Charles," she muttered.

"Hush, you say… ahhh!"

She had closed her fingers around him quite suddenly and his eyes widened in surprise. Elsie laughed and moved her hand a little, causing another groan from her husband. As she stroked him, she realized that he was not as large and intimidating as he had initially seemed. He was longer than the width of her hand, but not by more than two or three inches. What made him so impressive, and had caused her initial shock, was his girth. Fully aroused, she was barely able to close her hand around him. She could feel how powerful he was as she held him tightly.

"I think your man here is quite handsome, Charles."

He chuckled and stroked her arm. "Thank you, dearest. The little man appreciates the comment."

"Not that little," she muttered.

"Flattery, pure flattery."

She grinned and kept moving her hand over him until he gently grabbed her wrist.

"Did I..?"

"It was wonderful," he assured her.

"And now?" She felt a little flustered as she did not know what to do next. "How do you want me?"

Charles sat up and cupped her cheek, kissing her long and slow. "You're not ready yet, love."

"I beg to differ."

Her huffy comment made him laugh. Nudging her legs apart a little he cupped her, pressing his palm against her.

"You need to be ready _here_ too, Elsie."

Her eyes fluttered shut as he stroked her. She held on to his shoulder, gasping now and then when his touch felt especially lovely. After a moment she started to press against his hand, not actually realizing it until he pushed a finger inside her. Her eyes opened and she whimpered softly as he stroked her. Elsie moved eagerly against his finger. When he pressed his thumb against that very sensitive spot, she sobbed at the pleasure rippling through her body.

"Charles!"

"Just enjoy it, Elsie." He pressed his lips against her neck, kissing and licking below her ear.

"So good."

He smiled against the crook of her neck. Feeling how relaxed and slick she was, he eased two fingers inside her. Elsie let out a soft cry and trembled at the touch. He wrapped a steadying arm around her as he continued to stroke his thumb over her little spot. It did not take long before he felt her relax and start to move against his fingers.

"Oh God…"

She started to pulse around him and he reluctantly removed his fingers. Her eyes instantly opened and he smiled at her, anticipating an objection. Scooting back so he could lean against the headboard, he took her hands pulling her to him.

"Put your legs on either side of mine." Elsie swallowed and silently straddled him. He smiled encouragingly at her. "Now take me in your hand as you slowly lower yourself. Take your time. There is no need to rush."

Elsie shifted over him, her inner thighs protesting a little at being spread so wide again. Ignoring the discomfort, she hovered above him. She smiled as she wrapped her fingers around him again, this time more confident in her touch. Steadying herself against his hip, she slowly took the head inside, instantly stopping when he stretched her. He grabbed her hips, steadying her.

"Are you all right? If it's too much…"

"No, _mo chrìdh_, it's just all so new."

After holding still for a moment she slowly lowered herself until he was entirely inside her. It did not hurt, but he was stretching her to the point of almost being uncomfortable. He stroked her thighs, and inching his fingers closer, he brushed his thumb over her. She smiled and her eyes closed. Getting used to his presence, she moved a little, allowing him to slip out a few inches. They both moaned at the incredible feeling.

Charles helped her set the rhythm. With his guidance, she moved up and down and rocked backwards and forwards as they learned what they both enjoyed best. She knew instantly when she figured it out. She let out a loud whimper as he stroked over that sensitive spot inside. Wanting to feel it again she moved in the same way, and another burst of pure pleasure went through her. She kept moving, faster and faster, his fingers keeping up with her until he came with a roar. She could feel it inside her and kept moving. With one final downward push and a circular movement of his thumb she let out a little cry as her body went rigid, squeezing him tightly, over and over. When she fell silent, sitting gasping on his lap, still pulsing gently around him, he pulled her down into his arms, holding her as they recovered.

~ O ~

With a kiss to her forehead, Carson eventually got out of bed. She watched him intently as he took a few steps in his naked glory before covering himself up in his robe. He turned and smiled at her before leaving the room, giving her some privacy to wash up and get dressed.

Elsie groaned softly as she sat up, easing her legs over the side of the bed. Her inner thigh muscles ached a little from the night's activities and a tingle went through her body as she pressed her legs together. Slowly making her way over to the washbasin, Elsie blushed in embarrassment at how her legs felt slightly wobbly. She poured some water into the bowl before dipping a washcloth into it. She washed her body in slow strokes, taking comfort from the familiar activity.

~ O ~

Not bothering with stockings, Elsie left the bedroom once she was dressed. Carson turned his head as he heard her coming.

"Good morning, love." Noticing her bare feet he chuckled and his eyes sought out hers. "Is everything alright, my wee lass?"

"Charles." She rolled her eyes at him. "Your wife is feeling wonderful, thank you. As for my feet, I'm afraid that it's something that you will have to get used to."

"Oh?" His brows inched up in curiosity.

"I cherish not having to wear shoes."

He nodded, reminded of all the times over the years that he had entered her parlor to find her in her stocking-clad feet, shoes placed neatly next to her desk.

"I know. I didn't realize that you prefer to be barefoot."

"I do, but only like this, when we're alone." She stepped closer and gently touched his chest. "If it bothers you, I'll put my stockings on."

"Absolutely not!" he laughed and kissed her firmly. "I think, Mrs. Carson, that a new rule needs to be instituted in our home."

"Do tell, my man."

"No shoes on our half-days."

Elsie laughed and nodded. "Now _that's_ a rule I can agree with."

Still laughing, Carson turned back to the stove, flipping something in the frying pan.

"Are you cooking bacon?" Elsie finally realized what it was that she had smelled.

"I am. Are you hungry? There's tea on the table. I know you usually prefer to make it, but I thought that perhaps this time you wouldn't mind too much."

She kissed his cheek and gave it a fond caress as she passed him. "I don't mind at all." She poured herself a cup, watching him out of the corner of her eye. "Where did all this food come from?"

"I asked Mrs. Patmore if she could put some things together for us. There was a basket sitting outside waiting this morning."

"I married a very clever man." Elsie grinned up at him as he placed a plate with eggs and bacon in front of her.

"I'm glad that you approve, Mrs. Carson." His eyes twinkled playfully. "I think I'll leave the toast making to you, though. I still haven't managed to figure out this toaster monstrosity. I'm convinced that the thing is trying to kill me."

"Charles, of course it's not trying to kill you." She shot him a look before placing two pieces of bread in the toaster.

"I'm certain of it, love. See?" He held up his hand. She frowned and shook her head. "There." He pointed to a pink spot on his knuckle.

"That little thing?" She huffed and rolled her eyes.

He huffed and reached for his silverware. "Mockery, that's all I get."

Elsie just laughed. Taking a bite of the eggs she hummed her approval. He smiled at her before digging into his own food.

~ O ~

Elsie stood by the window in the parlor. Charles was getting dressed after she made the bed. The kitchen was spotless, as was the parlor. She was at a loss, not used to having absolutely nothing to do. Usually she would sit down by the fire in her parlor and read, but somehow it seemed odd to do that with him around. She smiled when she felt his strong arms circle her waist.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing in particular." She turned her face to look at him and he brushed his lips against hers. "I'm not used to having nothing to do."

"I'm here."

"Yes you are." She turned in his arms and rested her hands on his broad chest. "And that makes me very happy."

"I'm glad to hear it." Looking behind her out the window he watched a bird land on a branch in the apple tree. "It's a beautiful day. Why don't we take a walk?"

"That sounds lovely."

"And later maybe you'd like to see the garden."

Elsie nodded. "We used to have a little garden, back home in Argyle."

"So did we." He smiled and his eyes took on a faraway look. "My mother was quite good at it."

"My mother couldn't stand digging in the dirt," Elsie said with a huff. "When I turned eight, I was told that it was now my duty to tend to the garden. I didn't mind at all." The truth was that the garden offered young Elsie a respite from her fighting parents. Out of sight, out of mind. Her father would usually leave her alone if she was in the garden.

"Perhaps you'd like to try growing a few things."

"I believe I would."

"Then let's get you some seeds." He pointed to the left side of the garden, along the stone wall that framed their property. "You know, Mr. Moseley did the initial planting here, and he's been tending to the trees and bushes over the years."

Her eyes widened at the mentioning of the name. All of Downton village was singing Mr. Moseley Sr.'s skills as a gardener.

"Roses?" she whispered.

"Um, hmm."

She laughed happily and took his hands. "Show me?"

~ O ~

Elsie had been nervous returning to Downton two days later. To her relief everything appeared to be the same. The staff was bustling around as usual, even though things were a bit quiet with the family gone. She made a face at Daisy when the girl grinned and blushed as she spotted her with Charles. A moment later, Mrs. Patmore grinned like the Cheshire cat at seeing them. Elsie rolled her eyes and left the kitchen with a muttered "I'll be in my parlor."

She lost herself in order entries and stock supplies and before she knew it there was a knock on her door. Charles was standing there, smiling at her.

"Will you be joining us for luncheon, _Mrs. Carson_?"

She grinned at how he emphasized her new name. Slowly getting up she stepped closer, leaning around him to make sure no one was nearby. Giving him a quick kiss on the lips, she nodded.

"I suppose we shouldn't keep them waiting."

"We might have mutiny on our hands if we wait too long," he said with a knowing nod. "But they can certainly hold their horses for a few minutes longer."

Elsie lifted her chin as she entered the servants' hall with him. More than one person smiled at seeing them. Soon everyone was talking and the cheerful mood in the room seemed to only escalate. Elsie cast a quick glance at Charles and he smiled at her before passing her the potatoes.

To be continued…


End file.
